I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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