I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
