Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Found the puke drawer
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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