Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize