You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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