Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
