He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
