There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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