so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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