I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize