dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize