You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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