Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
