I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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