I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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