Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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