The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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