Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
