Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
