So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's shark week go big or go home
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
