We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
