he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
