honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
