I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
