Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize