with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
