Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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