I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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