And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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