Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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