My boss' voice literally gives me gas
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize