you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
