That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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