You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
