man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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