I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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