I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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