maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
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