its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
