I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
