A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize