i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize