I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
