Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
sex in a hospital.. check
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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