Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
