We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
