what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i will never coherently bang her
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize