shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
