I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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