someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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