thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
