There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
