How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
