fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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