White coat. Heels.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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