she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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