This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
